At 9.42am on the 26th February, Juno Jane Duthie was born weighing 8lbs 9.5oz. I’d been hoping to share our birth story sooner, while it was still fresh in my mind but I have struggled to find the motivation to write anything since we went into lockdown in the UK a few weeks ago. These are strange and scary times for everyone, and I wonder what we will tell our babies in years to come. The ones who were born on the cusp of a global pandemic, the ones who were born in the depths of it. We hear the word ‘unprecedented’ being used on a daily basis, and that’s exactly what it is. Something never known or done before. We were lucky that Juno was able to meet a handful of my friends and family members before COVID-19 happened, and who knows how long it will be before she gets a cuddle from her grandparents, or Reuben gets to see his friends in nursery, but hopefully it will be in the not too distant future. Anyhoo, onto the arrival of our little lady…
I had my c-section booked for the 26th of February, but was happy to give birth naturally if I went into spontaneous labour before then. Alas, it never happened! So at 7am on the morning of the 26th me and Pete dropped Reuben at nursery and drove up to the maternity unit at our local hospital. There was me and two other Mums in that morning for c-sections, and I had no idea what order we were going to be taken in. We all waited, lined up in beds in the recovery ward, pre op checks carried out along with chats with the anaesthetist (where they remind you just HOW serious this surgery is and that you are aware of the multitude of complications which could occur – works wonders for the old anxiety!) The surgeon also came round for a quick chat, and asked me if there was anything I wanted to ask him. I was quite emotional by this point, the nerves were really getting to me so I just asked him please be gentle because I’m a shitebag (LOL) At 9.15am, the anesthetic nurse came over and said right, let’s go! Turned out the order they were taking us in, was the order of who was closest to the door.
I waddled down the corridor towards surgery with the anesthetic nurse and Pete. Gave him one last kiss and an I love you as he was instructed to wait outside and change into his scrubs while they got me ready for the operation. Memories came flooding back to me from Reuben’s c-section. A big shiny room full of around 10 people. Who are they all again and what do they do?! I just kept my eyes focused on the nurse, who was really a complete angel throughout the entire thing keeping me comforted and grounded. I wish I had gotten her name. The anaesthetist sat me on the side of the bed, exposed my bare back (and bum, your dignity goes out the window at this point) then applied a freezing cold spray to my entire back, then a numbing injection before administering the actual spinal block. You have to sit really still for this part, leaning forward hugging into a pillow. I was holding onto the nurse at this point too, to try and stop me shaking from crying. My medical anxiety is pretty bad, and you do get tired from repeating to doctors that even though you’re covered in tattoos it doesn’t mean that you’re not frightened of needles.
Once the spinal block has been administered, you’re laid down on the bed, a sheet is put up blocking the view from your chest down, and the nurse inserts a catheter. I also had a drip in my hand by this point but I can’t even remember who put it in or when. Then at this stage your partner is finally allowed to come back in! Pete sat at a chair just next to my head the entire time. The anaesthetist sprays your body up and down with bursts of cold air (or maybe it’s water, I’m not totally sure) to determine when you have went numb and when you are ready for the team to operate. It’s the strangest feeling ever when they ask you to lift your legs up, and you try with all your strength but you just can’t. This time around, it felt like it took a lot longer for them to get Juno out, with a lot more movement and tugging. Of course you don’t feel any pain, but you do feel the sensation of being moved around (almost like someone doing the dishes in your stomach) The surgeon was great though and let me know what was happening as the operation progressed. There was a junior doctor in with him shadowing the operation, and I must admit I stopped listening and focused on looking up at Pete instead when I heard from the other side of the curtain “and now we just move the bladder to one side like this” – I think I felt the colour drain from my face at this point hahaha. It felt like an absolute lifetime for them to get her out, but after walking into theatre at 9.15am, by 9.42am she was born!
I burst into tears when I heard that big, loud cry for the first time. And before Juno was cleaned and brought round to us everyone was exclaiming how much thick dark hair she had (I think the old wives tale about heartburn and having a hairy baby are true folks) Pete held Juno while I was stitched back up, just as he had with Reuben. The surgeon had informed me earlier that I had some keloid scarring on my old scar, so he would have to cut just under it and then attempt what sounded like a miniature tummy tuck to sew me back together (like, 5mm worth haha) I did joke about him giving me a designer vagina when he was down there as well but unfortunately he didn’t keep his promise.
Once I had been stitched back up, the midwife and the nurse stepped back in to clean/wipe me down and roll me back onto the bed for being moved through to the recovery ward. You wish you could help while they are doing this, but still being completely numb you just need to lie there like a whale being saved from washed up on the beach, muttering ‘thank you’ and ‘sorry’ every 30 seconds. My blood pressure was slightly high in the days before I went into hospital, and worryingly high during the surgery (which was not helped by the anaesthetist flapping over this and telling me I had to calm down, and that it was the highest he had ever seen in surgery… very unhelpful towards my soaring blood pressure) but by the time we were wheeled back down to recovery and I was cuddling little Juno inside my hospital gown it had started to go down.
We stayed in the recovery suite for around an hour before being wheeled up to the maternity ward. In recovery I had that delightful tea and toast you hear new mums speak about, texted my family to let them know she was here, and had our first shot at breastfeeding. Our breastfeeding journey ended a few weeks later but I shall speak more about that in another post! I had some visitors that evening and the following afternoon, and by the following evening the midwife and doctor were happy for me to be discharged. I just needed to have some follow up appointments for my blood pressure which was still quite high. I was so exhausted and still really sore from the operation, but I have a good support network at home so was happy about the thought of recovering in my own bed. I was home by 9pm on the thursday night, and although Reuben had came to meet Juno briefly at the hospital, he came down the stairs on the Friday morning with Pete and was able to see and meet her properly. The verdict? He isn’t fussed with her in the slightest! I was relieved that there is no jealousy surrounding her arrival (he’s probably just a little too young for that) but all in all he is pretty uninterested. Reuben will call her ‘baby’, will fetch me nappies and the dummy, and has held her a couple of times… but other than that Reuben just gets on with his day haha.
I cried my eyes out when I read this instagram post the week before Juno arrived. I just couldn’t stop thinking about Reuben and how he would react. Now she is here, he doesn’t seem so little anymore. Infact, he feels like a big monster boy compared to her! I look at their vests lined up next to each other on the dryer, little and large. I still grab him sometimes and hold him close, rocking him in my arms. I always thought he was so small before Juno came around, but now he seems like such a big boy. He will always be my baby though. Although he seems uninterested with her at this moment in time, I hope as she gets a little bigger and is able to interact with him that they will become the best of pals.
I am so grateful for all of the wonderful staff at the RAH in Paisley who looked after us before, during and after Juno was born. I’m in complete awe of the care they provided for me, and for so many others, and continue to do so throughout this global pandemic along with all the other front line staff. Modern day super heroes, saving lives on a daily basis. They risk their life for us, and in return all we need to do is sit on our sofas and ride this out. So it goes without saying, stay at home and stay safe. I saw a really good quote the other day which said “We are not stuck at home, we are safe at home” and it’s so, so true ♥
