Will you get old fashioned with me?

“I do not care what car you drive. Where you
live. If you know someone who knows someone who knows someone. If your
clothes are this years cutting edge. If your trust fund is unlimited. If
you are A-list B-list or never heard of you list. I only care about the
words that flutter from your mind. They are the only thing you truly
own. The only thing I will remember you by. I will not fall in love with
your bones and skin. I will not fall in love with the places you have
been. I will not fall in love with anything but the words that flutter
from your extraordinary mind.”– Andre Jordan

I feel like I knew everywhere and nowhere to start when I began writing this post. This is my competition entry for something pretty spectacular being held by Haagen Dazs, to win a weekend in Paris for you and your other half by submitting an image (or series of images) that you feel represent ‘Love’ or ‘Romance’. The meaning of both of those words have changed considerably for me in my transition from a teenager into a young woman, and even more so in the last 2 years of my life.

These years have seen me at my very lowest and darkest point regarding love and relationships (and also my emotional/mental health and relationship with myself) all the way through to the highest of highs. The epitome of happiness and being comfortable in your own skin. Loving and trusting yourself fully before you can choose to do the same to others. The photograph above is me emmersed in that very moment which I am trying to describe. It was taken just after midnight on new years eve, at Hallgrimskirkja church in Reykjavik.

Yes there are bokeh lovehearts and myself and John kissing, at night in the cold winter air which automatically seems like an obvious picture to choose. But I started off with so many more in this post, and ended up editing and deleting them down until only this one remained. I take a silly amount of pictures and feel blessed to look back on a photographic timeline where I can pick out some really heart warming (and tear jerking) moments from our relationship so far. Beautiful moments like John holding my best friends baby in the hospital and stuck in a trance like gaze. It welled me up because I couldn’t stop thinking about how wonderful a father John is going to be one day. Funny moments where friends have caught us together on camera on a night out laughing at each other insanely, and being big geeks completely unaware that anyone else is watching. These photos never fail to crack me up, but warm my heart at the same time because I have never laughed so much in my whole life (including AT myself) as I have until I met John. 

Then there is the moment that I experienced in the picture above. I made the start of our relationship so hard for John. I had serious trust issues after a bad experience in my last relationship that combined with other things, drove me to having an absolute physical and emotional breakdown. I have been building my life back together, brick by brick since that dark time those years ago. And I was still a little stand off-ish and full of negativity and doubt when I met John. But his love, patience, and honest approach to life has helped me become the woman I’ve always known I could be deep down. I have never been more myself than what I am in this very moment. Our new years eve in Iceland was our first holiday together, and just a few days after our year anniversary. There was a real magic in the air as we sealed the welcome of 2013 with a kiss.

So, all of the above is the reason why I will hold this picture so close to my heart for as long as I live. It depicts a turning point for me where I realised I had shed such a skin and really let go of any emotional baggage that was ever stopping me from being the open and loving person that my soulmate deserves. Love and romance are flowing through my veins like never before, and I really do feel alive ♥

Ayden x